So Cal Trip day 3 & 4: Twilight Saga Live Auction event

This post requires a little background before get to those two days.

Lionsgate decided to auction off costumes and props from the Twilight Saga movies. The Prop Store was the auction house that was used. The announcement was made at San Diego ComiCon in July where they had some items, referred to as lots, on exhibit. Jack Morrissey had worked his magic and arranged for a selection of lots to be exhibited at Forever Twilight in Forks (FTF) this year; that exhibit was also announced at SDCC. The exhibit was wonderful. The Prop Store staff was informative in answering questions about the lots and about the auction process. There were 900 lots to choose from:  453 from the first three movies, 447 from the two Breaking Dawn movies. The auction was available on line with the live event scheduled over two days, 19 and 20 November where one could also bid via phone, at the Chinese Theater complex in Hollywood. There were two catalogs, one for each day. The catalogs are keepsakes themselves, full color pictures of each lot plus images from the movies of some of the items in use or costume being worn. The catalog provided the first close ups of some costume pieces. 

Catalog link:   http://www.twilightsagaauction.com/catalog.html

Once the announcement was made for the exhibit and auction, general questions were slowly being asked and answered about the auction within the closed FTF Facebook group. Jack was a great resource about the art of collecting movie memorabilia and auctions, as he has been doing so for a number of years.  Matt Truex, Prop Store project manager, was added to the closed FTF Facebook group and answered questions more about the auction process with online and live bidders. It was fascinating. The catalog wasn’t ready until after FTF, but they did tease us with sample pictures of items being brought to Forks. 

Once FTF was over an auction specific closed group on Facebook was set up. Questions became more specific. Anticipation for the catalog release in three formats, available as a PDF to download, interactive with more pictures, and hardcopy, grew. Jack advised on having an overall budget and specific item budget. Jack advised to do research on the item of interest – does it show up on screen, film shown or deleted scene, just background, worn by actor or stunt double. There were discussions about what to do if a ‘really want item’ had a high lot number but didn’t want to miss getting something earlier of interest. Excitement was building. There were some discussions about attending live or save that money to win something.

There were a couple of items I was interested in, practical items that could be used not just put in case for display: bookends and vertical bookcase, both from Edward’s room. And then there were the books that would be display only, movie specific copies of Romero and Juliet, Wuthering Heights, and Merchant of Venice and The Bible used for the wedding. Jack had planted the seed in me to attend in person. The timing worked out to go and do some other visits as well to family and friends. I asked Prop Store for permission to take pictures and that was granted, including a press badge! I’ve never had an official press badge before.  I was ready and eager to go.

My goals were to hang out with some Twilight fans at likely the last event in LA area, take pictures at event, make a serious bid on at least one item of interest. Winning an item would be nice but not necessary. If I had not received permission to take pictures, I likely would not have attended the event. Not only permission to take pictures but encouraged with a press badge! My goals were all met. Very happy with the experience.

Saturday, 19 November, was the first day of the live auction. The auction was scheduled to start at 1100hrs. The doors would open about 1000hrs, check in start about 0930hrs. There was a standing banner of Edward to welcome us at one entrance. There was a small exhibit of lots in the lobby.  

We checked in and got our bidder placard from Tami Garcia and Justin Miller. There was a big ‘wolf’ stand-in to greet us at the door. There was a small crowd of people waiting to get in. The only people I recognized were the FTF committee members.

  

The theater auditorium was set up with a stage that had Bella’s and Edward’s BD2 final battle costume on either side of podium. The screen had image of the lot currently being bid on and in upper right corner bid info. There were tables with computers in pit area for the Prop Store staff along with the camera for the internet streaming service. There was one row of couches with tables a couple of steps up from the pit area. Another step up had one row of regular theater seats with wheelchair gaps, then the regular seats ranged up from there. 

Brandon Alinger, COO Prop Store in LA, introduced the auctioneer, Richard Schur. He had us hold up our placards to make sure he could see them. He explained how the floor bidding would work with the on-line and phone bidders. We would have a 10 min break every 100 lots and continue until lot 453 on Saturday and lot 900 on Sunday completed bidding. And we were off and bidding. Realizing most of us were new to auctions he kept the pace even and maybe a little slow for the first couple hundred lots. He commented intelligently about the items. He was entertaining. He teased out extra bids from some attendees and knew when to stop. It was fascinating. The paced was picked up after the 200 lot break. 

My photography goal was to get some reaction shots when someone in room won. Some were kind of quiet about it. Some surprised they won after intense bidding war. Most of the bidding wars were between on-line bidders and maybe someone in the room. There were a few between in-room bidders. Interesting to watch the others looking between the two, especially when I was one of the bidders. It was clear that people had particular items they were after. Some items went for a lot more than the estimated price. Some hardly had any bids that I figured would be more popular. It was strange. Thinking about it now, that is more likely an indicator of personal meaning, rather than investment collecting. There were some costume lots that did not meet the reserve, so those lots were passed on. Figured out that most likely the reserve was the lowest of estimate price and some got to within $50 of that, but not to that price. 

Ryan Albertson, Sian Taylor, Matt Truex

Matt Truex was the main in-room person for the on-line bidders, raising his hand when an on-line bid came in. He became an unpopular person for that reason at least to those that were bidding in the room. People came and went as day progressed. Food and drinks were brought back. There was a lounge area upstairs to get away from the immediacy of the auction with some snacks and water and sodas. There were about four people that were noting down each winning bid. The first day ended about 2230hrs (10:30pm), I think.

Sunday started again at 1100hrs with lot 454, Volterra door panels. The excitement energy was a little higher than yesterday and grew as got to the battle costumes and near the end. The room excitement and auction fever overtook some of us. I did bid on the few items I was interested in and as got closer to end bid higher than I should have. I did not win any bids, eventually kept my head and heart grounded to reality of pocketbook. I got what I came for, the experience, taking pictures to share, and meet some more Twilight folks. Once all of my items were gone, I approached Ms Andros, FTF committee chair, to donate a portion of my budgeted money to her for lot(s) for Forks. It was the logical thing to do. Some items were missed by $50-$150. If my donation could help her get an item for Forks, that would be money well spent. It did come in useful for her to win a Renesmee costume. 

The last two lots were Bella's and Edward’s battle cuffs and both went to a phone bidder. Don Hill was the phone in-room person. The picture above is of the last bid. The auction ended about 2100hrs (9pm) on Sunday. People went up to stage to get pictures with the auctioneer and the two costumes on the stage. People relaxed and chatted as prepared to leave. It was a very interesting time. Educational. Fun. Intense. 

April Tinnes, Kelly Grable, Richard Schur, Adrienne Spykers, Lissy,Sarah George

No, I don’t know who all got what. A couple of items I was interested in did go to good homes. The final bid on the engagement ring was $14,000. Ms Andros did score final bid on a few lots. The FTF committee and Forks Chamber of Commerce are working on plans for a permanent exhibit. No matter when Twilight Fans visit, they will have a chance to view those items. Join the FTF Facebook group to keep up. Closed group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/forevertwilightinForks/?fref=ts

Open community group: https://www.facebook.com/forevertwilightinForks/?fref=ts

Thanks go to pre-readers Adrienne Spykers and Lori Hurley Wright to make sure I reported accurately and Christine Bentley Johnston for fresh eyes that didn’t attend the auction and encourage a more personal post.

Thank you to the Prop Store staff that came to Forks and stayed around to answer questions while guarding the exhibit – Matt Truex, Ryan Albertson, Brian Cordoba. They continued to answer question via the Facebook page and emails until the live event and after. Thank you for encouraging me to take pictures at the live auction with the press badge!

One last thank-you here to a most important person, Jack Morrissey. For all the work he has done for Forever Twilight in Forks, for arranging for the auction exhibit at FTF, for encouraging fans about the auction, answering their questions, admin for the Facebook groups, for being the generous and caring person that he is. I feel honored to know you and count you a friend.

So Cal trip Day 2b: Twilight meadow scene

I had called earlier in the week to determine which of the four (4) golf courses was used to film the meadow scene in Twilight. You may remember they had snow the night before filming it in Oregon...just a little difficult to fake spring meadow under those circumstances. The info available only said that it was actually filmed in an area knows as Redwoods on a golf course in Griffith Park. Karen Mah and I looking at the various maps of the courses narrowed it down to the two most likely, Wilson or Harding. They are next to each other and share a starting office/clubhouse. Emily was the young lady I spoke with and confirmed that it is Wilson that has the area known as Redwoods along the first fairway. Emily suggested that when I came to talk with the guys that took care of the golf carts. One of them could likely take me to that area.

Unfortunately I had forgotten to print out the screen shots to match with live location and didn’t consult the computer before leaving in the morning. So if I was exactly in the right area I can’t say with certainty.

I found the starting office/clubhouse and asked for Emily. She was working and I introduced myself. She radioed the golf cart area and Jonathan came over. He was more than happy to take me to the area. I was giddy and giggly. He was very chatty and said that they do a lot of filming in that area. He wasn’t sure of exact spot for Twilight. He was driving so fast, my hat blew off and he zipped around to pick it up.  I’m not into costumes and props. The actual locations used for filming is much more interesting to me. It was fun knowing I knew something no one else had found and given specifics for.  For a little while I would be the only one knowing this and then happily share what learned.

He drove down the cart path on the left side about half way of the first fairway. There was a path into the wooded area that angled away from the fairway. A short distance into the trees it opened up with meadow like area on the right. He pulled around and parked. It looked like it could have worked for the meadow scene. One of the pictures of Catherine Hardwicke during filming shows the red roof tiles of the clubhouse in the background through the trees. The red roof tiles were barely visible now. I took pictures all around. Tigger and Eeyore were taken out of backpack and had pictures taken. Did I mention that I was giddy and giggling? Definitely not acting my grey haired age. Jonathan was cool about it all. Wish another Twilight fan could have been with me for this, but timing didn’t work out to connect with anyone this day.

It is hard to compare the area due to the grass carpet and flowers they laid out covering tree roots and fallen branches and the passage of 8-9 years. All in all, I think it is about 90% the correct spot after comparing my pictures to what others had posted and the one with Ms Hardwicke, sent to me by Charly D Miller, novelholiday.com.

Please do not try to walk to the area. Walking along a golf course can be dangerous. Please go talk to the golf cart people and get a ride. I was willing to tip Jonathan and he refused. He was just happy to help out. If they are busy, it might not be as true, but then ask when a better time would be. There is no need to be sneaky and devious to get there. Please be safe.

Entrance to golf courses

Starting office/clubhouse

me with TC Tigger & Eeyore

Update with the two pictures CD Miller sent me

Catherine Hardwicke

Bella and Edward

So Cal trip Day 2a: Overlooks and Griffith Park Observatory

Friday started early with sun leaking around the window coverings, the problem of east facing windows. It was a pretty sunrise with reflections off the buildings. These are pictures from our window.

I had breakfast in room with food I had brought. Sharon was going to a Gilmore Girls event and I was off to drive Mulholland Drive. I headed west on Hollywood Blvd to Laurel Canyon Blvd north to Mulholland Drive. There are two overlooks – Universal City and Hollywood Bowl/Sign – with pull outs. The Universal City pull out was on the other side of road and since there was some filming going on, parking was lacking. Took some general scenic pictures and some with TCTigger and Eeyore. 

Universal City Overlook

Hollywood Bowl

Hollywood Sign in distance

TCTigger & Eeyore

Then to Griffith Park Observatory. Long drive through the park to get to the observatory. The outside has been seen in lots of movies and some TV series. I was blessed in finding a parking spot in their parking lot. There is a good view of the Hollywood sign as well as the LA Basin from the parking lot and terrace. There are some wonderful displays in each wing and downstairs. I did not see any of the film shows they have. They have a café and there was not much available for gluten/dairy free diet. As I was walking up to the gift shop, they posted a sign saying ‘closed due to computer problem, sorry for inconvenience’. L I had hoped to buy some postcards and see what else they might have of interest. Took some pictures inside and outside. My favorite display was the elements one. 

Hollywood Sign from GPO

Front of GPO

From the right side

my favorite

Cool Periodic Table

After the observatory I went to find the area where the Twilight meadow was actually filmed at Wilson golf course. That adventure has its own separate post, day 2b. 

After eating dinner at the golf course, I went back to hotel and gave up my car again. Separation anxiety. Went out to investigate where the auction would be taking place, Chinese Theater and the Hollywood / Highland complex. There were two costumes inside the Chinese Theater lobby that we were suppose to be able to see. I was refused entrance this evening. I was directed to the third floor where the auditorium was for the auction the next two days. While there I ran into Jack and the FTF group and some others. They were on way to dinner and I was invited along. Too late for me to eat, but did enjoy the company and conversation. [need to take better notes of things like this as I can't remember who all was there now.]

So Cal trip Day 1: Family Grave markers, Hollywood

Up early, but took longer to be on my way, about 0730hrs, than had hoped for. Texted to my long distance travel contact, Christine Bentley-Johnston, and couple of other people. Drove down via I 5. One thing that always gets me is how mountainous Southern California is and lots of houses on the mountainsides. Sure main part of LA is in valley, but so much in foothills and further into the mountains.  

Arrived at first stop, Mountain View Cemetery Altadena, about 1400hrs. There were a couple of gentlemen at the gate to direct people to a funeral and were able to provided me the map and info I needed to find the Rice plots. 

The map has ‘street names’, there are however no street signs. One must follow the curves of street and count intersections. I found the plots for the Rice family in two different rows. Virgil and Eleanor are feet to feet, not next to each other. I was a little stiff from driving and couldn’t clean off  the markers very well. I took some pictures of just the markers and then wider views of the area. There are trees nearby, so they are in shaded area. Went back to front gate area and took pictures there, before leaving for next stop.

There was some traffic on last part of drive through the pass and increased as got closer to more populated area. It was interesting finding Glendale Forest Lawn, there was more traffic and I was less sure of the exact way to get there. 

It was even more interesting trying to find the Lloyd plots. Glendale Forest Lawn is bigger than Mountain View cemetery. I was given two maps, one of the whole place and a section map with just the section with plot location. The small section map had no context on it, no street name or anything, just the way the road curved. There are no clear markers on the grounds to see where the sections are. There are no street name signs, just signs pointing out where this/that statue/stained glass window is. When finally figured out where the map was directing me and got there – it did not fit with my memory at all. Getting old and it was 1995, but still not close to memory. Looked more closely at the map and the plot number was different from what I had given the lady at the gate, one number was switched.

There was an exhibit of Disney art in the museum, so I thought I would try to find the museum before going back to front gate to get map with correct plot number. The museum did show up on the direction signs at two intersections. However, I never did find it; perhaps the museum building does not have a sign in front and I just drove pass without realizing it. I was really getting frustrated. I know how to use maps. I rarely get lost. I was having difficult time at Glendale Forest Lawn with their maps. It was getting late and I wanted to get to hotel before dark which comes too early at this time of year. I found my way to the front gate and went inside and got correct plot number map. She turned her computer screen around so I could see the context. There was still some difficulty locating the correct area without clearly visible section markers. Finally found the two plots while wearing the wrong shoes to be walking on a hill. Got my pictures and headed out to find the hotel.

I made the mistake of letting my local contact know I was at Glendale Forest Lawn when I first got there, that started exchange of texts about meeting up that evening. After all the frustration of locating plots, I was reluctant to agree, just wanted to get to room and kinda crash. While driving to hotel my roommate texted that she was there and we had a wonderful view.

The traffic was getting worse with people leaving work. The street maps I had did not cover the area from cemetery to hotel. I had to kind of put it together from the bigger area maps. Stress rising. Traffic getting heavier and less forgiving of tourist that doesn’t know where she is exactly or exactly how to get to where she needs to be. Trying to get to hotel when said I would. Did I mention the TRAFFIC? And still getting texts about meeting up with folks…I did not read while driving only when stopped at lights. They don’t have protected left turns…how backwards is this strange place? I managed to retain enough cool and not tell the coordinator to jump off a bridge and just let me get to hotel before asking anything more from me. My sense of direction and filling in the missing part of map had returned and I found the hotel. Only to realize I had not checked map or hotel info on where entrance was. Drove one block past and made left turns until found entrance. I would have been happy dancing if not so tired. 

At the time this was nearing overwhelming stress, but I did see some humor in the situation as well, even more of that now as looking back. I hope that humor comes through in my words at least a little bit.

Valet parking, no option, horrors! doing without easy and immediate access to my car! Got stuff needed unloaded and got checked in. Room did have a great view – Chinese Theater across the street. Nice to see Sharon again. Got a text that Jack Morrissey had arrived with some FTF folks. Went down and got my catalogs from him as I opted to save shipping cost. Greeted the FTF folks. Invited to dinner, opted out – didn’t want to drive, couldn’t wait that long for food, wanted less expensive option. The wait that long was prime consideration, felt needed food and rather soon. Took about 30 minutes to get settled a little in room and Sharon and I went out on foot to hunt for food.  Headed toward a McDonald’s but saw Mel’s Diner down half a block. We both had a nice dinner there. We caught up, talked about the upcoming auction and what we wanted. Back to room and bed early. 

Southern California Trip November 2016: Preparation

I wanted to visit Southern California last year with the big Disneyland anniversary. Visiting relatives - living and dead - and some friends was also on my list. There were some sights that I wanted to see as well and take pictures with digital camera. Just as well it didn't happen last year. There was a Twilight event in Hollywood 19-20 November that I attended. That event prompted the timing of the trip. I wasn't sure how that timing around Thanksgiving would work with relatives and friends, but it worked out. Also gave me the opportunity to possibly attend LosCon this year. 

There was a closed group set up on Facebook for those interested in the Twilight event. I made some comments about other things to do in area if arrive early or staying late. One of them was touring around Griffith Park on Friday the day before the event. A couple of people responded that they were interested in joining me but weren't sure about the timing until closer to event. 

I looked into the attractions at Griffith Park, specifically the Observatory and the golf courses. Turns out there are four (4) golf courses in Griffith Park. One of them was used to film the meadow scene in Twilight movie. I investigated each golf course and info that I could find on the filming site. All I could find with some help from Karen Mah was Redwood area on the course. We narrowed it down to two most likely ones. I finally called and talked to Emily, Wilson golf course has the area. She wasn't personally aware that a scene from Twilight was filmed there. She suggested when I visited to talk to the guys at the golf cart and could get a ride out. Happy Dancing! 

Found the cemeteries where my grandparents are buried and plot numbers on the web site "Find a Grave". Decided it would be most efficient to stop at those places on way to Hollywood;  Altadena and Glendale are a bit north of Hollywood. That would mean getting up and early start on day I leave. 

Also looked at hotels in Hollywood and Anaheim. Jack Morrissey recommended The Roosevelt or Lowes for those attending the Twilight event, as close to the event and nice. Looked at those, no way I could afford alone or even with a roommate really. There are some other chain ones close by. A friend offered to pay the over-my-budget-cost of staying at the Roosevelt. Amazing and so generous! Decided to wait for motel reservation in Anaheim. 

There was a roommate thread in the event closed group. I posted that there was an extra bed in my room. Sharon Lottes took me up on the offer. Help defray the cost to me and my generous friend. Met Sharon at the first Twilight event I attended, Stephenie Meyer Days September 2013. It would be nice to see and spend some time with her. 

Printed out some maps to get me to the cemeteries and Roosevelt and I was ready. 

This is first of five or six posts about my recent trip to Southern California 17 to 27 November. 

Early Twilight Memories

Today is Father’s Day 2016. I should be writing about my father, but I’m not. The Facebook memory that was suggested this morning was a picture of the Gilbert Arizona Temple. That was my first stop on trip to visit nieces and nephew and to attend a Twilight event that year, 2014. Thinking about my father and brother is kind of sad and today I want happier thoughts and that trip was a good trip. It was a good trip for the visits and the event. So that is why I’m writing about Twilight memories today.

I remember the Relief Society meeting with some women talking about the Twilight Saga (TWS). I asked to borrow the first book from one of them and was hooked. That was January 2010. Read all the books, went to a marathon when the third movie came out in June 2010 with a group that I didn’t fit in with. Discovered fan fiction, read a lot and even wrote some poems and posted them.

Then three or so years after first reading the books I read on Twilight Lexicon that there was an event planned for September to celebrate Stephenie Meyer and TWS in Forks Washington. I’d been forced into retirement from my career and nothing else was working for me and really shouldn’t have spent money, but I did.

2013 was the year that the Stephenie Meyer Day (SMD) folks worked with Forever in Forks (FiF) folks and put on joint event. The Forks chamber of commerce also had a few things planned. Most of the events were planned and executed by Staci Chastain & Olympic Coven group and Sharon Lottes Forever in Forks group.

I went. I took pictures, ie I observed. I helped out a little. I met people. I had some longer conversations with a few people. I had a good time. Forever in Forks announced their next event would be June 2014 in Phoenix to celebrate Edward’s birthday. I was impressed that they could do that in nine months.

I have two nieces and a nephew that live in the great Phoenix area. I had some family inheritance things to pass along to them, so decided if the ticket price for FiF was reasonable I could go. The price was reasonable so I drove down to Phoenix area for the visits and event. The FiF event was small. Bad for FiF, good for me. Better chance to meet and talk with people. It worked. Remembered some people from SMD event. Talked with some people. Especially nice was the opportunity to talk with two of the Olympic Coven cosplayers – Travis Shoaf as Emmett and Alan Mitchell as Edward – and the music duo Imperial Mammoth.

I’ve been back to SMD, now called Forever Twilight in Forks and taken over by the Forks chamber of commerce, in 2014 and 2015. Found out about Gatlinburg Tennessee events and attended one in 2015 and 2016. Was invited to a birthday party celebration in St Helens Oregon in April 2015 and was able to attend that. Because of these events I have met some great people that have become friends and a few women that have become great friends. We’ve had some great times laughing and talking and sharing life. Made great memories and I look forward to making some more memories.

Favorite TWS quote: "I think sometimes..." I began. "Life has a way of blessing you when you least expect it. Sometimes, just when you think all is lost, more good comes your way than you ever thought possible." Bella to Edward in ch 14 of What Drives Her by Virginia May. 

This quote sums up what Twilight has been for me. I was at a low point and reading Twilight and Twilight fan fiction stories was a beacon in the dark to lead me to blessings. Blessings of trips I've taken. Blessings of friends made on those trips. Blessings of fan fiction stories I've read. Blessings of FF authors I've chatted with and become friends with - adopted into one family even.

Hope everyone had a good Father's Day. 

Take care.

Poem: Gone

Poem: Gone

Gone

Family all gone

Death got them

Moved

Friends all moved

Jobs or family got them

Left

Here I am

No one close at hand

Missing

Family and friends

Gone or moved

Need

New friends

Where to find them?

Keep

Old friends

Rich gold

Make

New friends

Become silver

Church

Tried there and

No one interested

Veteran

Organizations part of

Military family

Other

Interests possible

Social groups

Scared

To go alone

To new places

Brave

Cross the bridge

Old friends still there

Poem: Trees

Poem: Trees

Trees

Forest

Difference?

Shift focus

Shifts perspective

See what we

need to see.

Meadow

Sunlight

Flowers

Hidden or

Protected by?

Forest

Trees

Comments on the Twilight Storytellers films

After having a voice in whom the main character would be, the script, and the director, we finally have the films to view and vote on. There were six (6) scripts judged to proceed to director pitches. A director was chosen for each script to proceed and film. One wild card film was selected for the final group to put to public vote. There were a total of nine (9) films submitted to the panel for judging, we have seven (7) to view and vote on. Here is the link for Tongal to view and vote: https://tongal.com/twilight.  Voting started on Tuesday 14 July and runs for one (1) week.

Before getting to my comments on each one, I want to thank all who participated. It is apparent that much time and effort was put into each film. Best wishes to all.

In alphabetical order here are my comments on each of the seven (7) films.

Consumed, a Jane story

I don’t get the imagery while she is hurting others, especially when she is at the stake to be burned as a witch. Everything feels very canon. I hope they just used cool air to ‘kill’ the butterfly. Aro was creepy good when first introduced to the twins. His sudden disappearance and Jane’s side long look back was great. It was neat to see a member of the Olympic Coven in the crowd scene as twins were to burn. Such a sweet young lady yelling at the twins while at the stake added to the creepiness. The end was well done.

Groundskeeper, an Alice story

This was well done and creepy, but something felt off about it. My recollection is that James was alone when he came for Alice, however someone commented that Victoria was around as a distraction. I can’t find my Illustrated Guide to check on it one way or other. I liked the interaction between the groundskeeper and Alice, but the room was too big and too light from what I recall of description. The fight scene didn’t flow well for me. Maybe it was meant to be choppy. Maybe my recollection of the details makes this feel so off for me.

The Mary Alice Brandon File, an Alice story

The falling rain and falling pearls imagery was wonderful. Using the doctor’s notes in her file was nice. The doctor’s pipe smoke drifting over Alice as move to a memory was cool. All of the transitions to Alice’s memories were smooth and clear. The actress seems too tall for adult Alice, even if really only saw her laying down on the treatment table or curled in on herself. She did a good job of portraying Alice slowly loosing memory and trying to hold on as she has the repeated shock treatments. I liked her side glance at the end, mischievous childlike nature clearly there. The end credits done over the hospital window was neat.

Masque, an Esme story and wild card

Her struggle with newborn bloodlust was well done. Her entrance into the ball with the beating hearts and people with masques on was excellent. I do think Edward should have been there with her until met up with Carlisle. Esme was initially not going to attend so Carlisle had gone earlier. Esme’s flashbacks were a little hard to follow as flashbacks. Her strong mothering instinct was brought out along with bloodlust when the host’s daughter ran out and he followed her to ‘discipline’ her.

Sunrise, a Benjamin and Tia story

Great use of the sunrise in background imagery throughout the film. Loved the end credits presentation. Interesting to see them initially meet as orphaned children. The fire effects were good. Interesting at the end going from his eyes to her eyes as her choice is made and done.

Turncoats, a Garrett and Carlisle story

Great dry humor lines from all but the soldiers. Good looking actors for Carlisle and Garrett. Some interesting close up camera shots of the wounds and sewing it up after removing the musket balls. Nice use of period language from the nurse.

We’ve Met Before, an Alice and Jasper story

Big hair problems – Alice’s was too long and Jasper’s too short. The music did not fit in my opinion. I’m pretty sure canon says that they did not stay in the diner. The overall feel was off for me on this one. 

About Poems - Weight Of, Alone, and So Tired - and other things.

A couple of weeks ago I had a meeting after Sacrament with one of my Visiting Teachers and another sister she visit teaches. Early in conversation I was asked why I didn’t attend Relief Society, our first meeting on Sundays. I tried to open up and explain the struggle to convince myself to get up and come. The response I heard (please note not what was said, but what I heard) was don’t need friends, be a loner like me. I got up and left, I may have said something along lines of ‘too long’ as leaving. I was hurting and I was frustrated that my struggle apparently was not heard, not even really listened to. I had previously told this sister that I was chronically depressed and that conversation was quickly ended and only contact was brief at church. I didn’t hear from either sister until the next Sunday. These three poems came out from that incident. These are similar to ones I wrote in August and September of 2011 after similar event of overwhelming feelings of being rejected or ignored. 

Be advised that I am chronically depressed and I am not going to hide that on this blog any longer, starting with sharing these poems and their personal nature. I was on anti-depressants for years and actually feel better generally now that I stopped taking them. There are times when events really get me down, this event being one of them. The negative thoughts are always there, sometimes easier to counteract than other times. Going to church is especially hard, being alone in a crowd where there are people I would like to know better.

I know church is not a social venue, but where we go to learn and uplift each other. I’m ‘wrapped up so well to protect myself’ from the ‘alone in crowd’ feelings I don’t really feel much of anything at church. Praying or not praying doesn’t matter I still hurt. Reading scriptures or not reading doesn’t matter I still hurt. Attending all my meetings and doing all the other service things or not doesn’t matter I still hurt. What little faith and hope I have apparently is not enough. I wonder how I keep going at times. 

Poem: So Tired

So tired.

Been alone

So long

Too long.

No one to share

Joy or sorrow with.

Tired of trying

Tired of reaching out

To be ignored or rejected.

No one to share

Simple things with

Or talk with

To just hang out.

No one to know

If made it down stairs

Or out to mailbox

Or not,

On a daily basis.

There are those who are there

For big trips and complicated things

via email and Facebook

rarely in person though.

But not the daily little things.

Alone but not a loner,

Never wanted to be,

Not all the time anyway.

Yet here I am alone

Even in a crowd.

Poem: Alone

Alone

Single

Solitary

Not the way I want to be

I tried to reach out

But only rejection

Or ignored

Can’t take anymore

So stopped trying 

Alone

Single

Solitary

Is what I am.

Poem: Weight of

The weight of loneliness

Keeps me in place.

The weight of repeated rejection

Holds my tongue.

The weight of oppression

Nearly suffocates me.

All together they muffle my ears.

All together they blur my vision.

All together they slow my thoughts.

I hear no words of true friendship.

I feel no touch of true support.

Only occasional words and

Rare touches come through.

I prayed.

I read scriptures.

I was active in church.

I have faith in Jesus as my savior.

Why am I still weighed down?

Why do I still feel all this pain?