WJ=weekly journal since no OPA happening right now
Sunday in bed, positive voice getting louder and stronger against the negative.
Monday: black overwhelming cloud lifted enough to get taxes done. Couldn't find HUD paperwork from condo sale, so guessed at cost to sell figure. Found info from when bought it. Thought I had kept it in one of portable file totes, even if legal size. Can't find things. So unorganized. Sold condo for more than the $250K exemption, so owe lots. Bought it for less than remembered. SCCCU checking had enough to cover both fed and state taxes owed. Apparently moving expenses are only deduction if work related. Big bummer. Got mail, strange stuff from Kaiser. Think I have a WAVE bill somewhere not yet paid.
Tuesday: 1130hrs and three loads of laundry done, two sets of sheets and socks with second one and load of delicates hanging to dry from door things as I need to take a shower and could not do that with them hanging in middle of bathroom. Did some exercises, had breakfast, and read while doing the laundry. Ants have found one of the traps. Hope take back to nest and they all die. or at least stay outside. Surprised have skin left. Didn't sleep so well, up about 4, made master 'to do' list. Partial check off taxes, checked off a couple of other simple easy ones. Think I just use that pad to tack the projects. Finger stick left finger tip black/blue and kinda hurts. Thinking time to see if nap for a couple of hours. Should shower, wash hair and then go to Coop, they pay sales tax today. Did a fourth load, towels, after my shower. Then laid down with heating pad on back while washer and drier did their thing. Found some cards and new craft thing to try at The Co-Op.
Wednesday: mostly in or on bed trying to sleep. did load of cold wash, hang dry outer clothes. did the butterfly sticker stained glass. pretty. short leisure walk after dinner.
Thursday: some grocery shopping, pick up mail. Incomplete duplicate title request notice from California.
Friday: Spring Fling craft fair at Senior Center. Got a little Scentcy Travel trailer melter and pillow with lighthouse and sailboat on it. One vendor had paint yourself TShirts - one was Space Cadet, ordered one. There was a LaLaRue vendor there. Didn't see any I liked. Then went to Clamllam county fairgrounds for Vintage and Craft item fair. Got some lemongrass scent to melt, keep the ants away. Got some chocolate. Got two butterfly hot pads. Saw an inlay wood box, Pan playing flute design. Tempted to stop by tomorrow and see if still there. Also saw some pyrex nested mixing bowls, like mom had. Home for news and dinner. Tracy asked if I was ok, upset with her. Told her not upset, just not chatty enough. Started to be able to list things I have done in positive manner. Mostly done morning exercises, mostly walk every day. Fixed couple of meals that weren't totally bought processed frozen meal. Progress out of the overwhelm black pit.
Saturday: up and gathered stuff to take to Forks including change of clothes if get too wet on river float. Took shower and dressed in warm walking clothes for river float. see OPA post for more.
Sunday: actually slept last night! didn't get up to use bathroom. woke up and went right back to sleep. Amazing. Made it to church, a little late, but there. Took a nap once home. When woke up went for a walk. Wrote some emails, watched my mysteries. A good day.
22 April 2018
OPA 21 April 2018 Forks Rain Fest
Forks Rain Fest was 20 to 22 April. I went on Saturday only. Arrived about 1100hrs at the River Float tent. Rain off/on once past the Sul Duc hot springs turn off. Shortly after parking in Thriftway lot the rain became small hail stones. Didn't last long. The next shuttle was at 1130hrs and they were looking for a single person to complete the boats. Wonderful. Shuttle took five of us to the Sul Duc landing off of the Quileute airport road. Two guides waiting for us, two in one boat and three in the other. I went with a couple from Sequim. Wonderful almost two hour float trip to landing close to Three Rivers resort. Peaceful, quiet except for our conversations and guide talking about fishing and scenery. Sky cleared up and no more rain. Still partly cloudy. There were some rapids. Glad I had on rain pants to stay dry. Only took my driver's license and water proof camera. River a little faster than planned, so rather than wait 30 minutes for shuttle, one of guides drove us back to Thrifway. Decided to skip the free root beer float.
Visited the VIC where Sherri was working today. Picked up the old map of Twilight Forks and Twilight Tours with signed bookplate. Then to quilt show. Amazing work. Hands on art craft stuff for kids mostly at the RAC, plus a few hand craft to buy. Some small hand painted stary scapes that I wasn't interested in enough to pay the asking price. Then step into the Collection. Met Gay and Mindy. Chatted a little before close at 1600hrs. Off to Blakelees for dinner with Sherri and Gay joined us. They had gluten free bread so got a hamburger. It was good. Great time, good food and conversation. Then home. Kept to speed limit.
Visited the VIC where Sherri was working today. Picked up the old map of Twilight Forks and Twilight Tours with signed bookplate. Then to quilt show. Amazing work. Hands on art craft stuff for kids mostly at the RAC, plus a few hand craft to buy. Some small hand painted stary scapes that I wasn't interested in enough to pay the asking price. Then step into the Collection. Met Gay and Mindy. Chatted a little before close at 1600hrs. Off to Blakelees for dinner with Sherri and Gay joined us. They had gluten free bread so got a hamburger. It was good. Great time, good food and conversation. Then home. Kept to speed limit.
14 April 2018
WJ 9 to 14 April 2018 baggage
Things happened.
Things didn't happen.
Toppled into black pit of overwhelmness.
Too much to do, too slow, too little energy, too tired of doing it all alone, too little gets done, too little sleep, too much time in bed hiding nearly unable to move.
Unmet expectations.
Negative internal voices too loud.
Can't shut them up.
Anxiety paralysis.
Depression withdrawal.
Question why/how do this move thing.
Should have just stayed where was.
Question how care for whole home, inside & out, all alone.
Reminded of all my faults and failings, all things left undone.
Trying to make needed changes and not happening.
All can do is walk and read.
Things didn't happen.
Toppled into black pit of overwhelmness.
Too much to do, too slow, too little energy, too tired of doing it all alone, too little gets done, too little sleep, too much time in bed hiding nearly unable to move.
Unmet expectations.
Negative internal voices too loud.
Can't shut them up.
Anxiety paralysis.
Depression withdrawal.
Question why/how do this move thing.
Should have just stayed where was.
Question how care for whole home, inside & out, all alone.
Reminded of all my faults and failings, all things left undone.
Trying to make needed changes and not happening.
All can do is walk and read.
08 April 2018
OPA 2 to 8 April 2018 shopping finds
I walked every day but Monday for about 30 minutes. Nice to get back into that habit. Need a hat with a brim that fits over beanie or at least my ear warmer band. Sunny does not mean warm and my ears do get chilled. Legs feeling the exercise. Have not yet walked it, but did measure the loop around park - 0.4mile. Going to have to measure up/down the main street to see about a one mile track to walk.
Went shopping, started off window shopping only to get ideas for new home. Found a jigsaw puzzle that is world map. I can have fun putting it together and then use it to show where I've lived and visited. Puzzle found at The Co-op. They also had on sale large magnify glasses. Got one to help put the puzzle together and other uses.
Saturday was spring cleaning side walk sale in downtown Sequim. That was my walk. Found a metal biplane to hang from ceiling along with my space shuttle for the Traveler's room at a reuse store. Checked out the local crystal / bead store. Nothing of interest there. Found world map earrings and a box of note paper at Forage. The Bag Lady store uses old wool jackets to make slippers. Need to ask if she'd be interested in the old wool jackets and suits I have. Maybe a trade of boxes of old wool clothes for store credit worth one or two pairs of slippers. Checked out the consignment store. Need to wait until closer to moving. Saw a big stuffed multicolored dragon in children's store, tempting.
Looked in Office Depot for cork board and foam board. None exact size for puzzle map. Thinking mount puzzle on cork and then cork onto foam board. Then figure out framing. Must remember to leave space for color code explanation. White will be for places still want to see. Other colors will depend on what is available - seen box of pins that are white, black and red and another box that had green and another color.
Have a great week.
Went shopping, started off window shopping only to get ideas for new home. Found a jigsaw puzzle that is world map. I can have fun putting it together and then use it to show where I've lived and visited. Puzzle found at The Co-op. They also had on sale large magnify glasses. Got one to help put the puzzle together and other uses.
Saturday was spring cleaning side walk sale in downtown Sequim. That was my walk. Found a metal biplane to hang from ceiling along with my space shuttle for the Traveler's room at a reuse store. Checked out the local crystal / bead store. Nothing of interest there. Found world map earrings and a box of note paper at Forage. The Bag Lady store uses old wool jackets to make slippers. Need to ask if she'd be interested in the old wool jackets and suits I have. Maybe a trade of boxes of old wool clothes for store credit worth one or two pairs of slippers. Checked out the consignment store. Need to wait until closer to moving. Saw a big stuffed multicolored dragon in children's store, tempting.
Looked in Office Depot for cork board and foam board. None exact size for puzzle map. Thinking mount puzzle on cork and then cork onto foam board. Then figure out framing. Must remember to leave space for color code explanation. White will be for places still want to see. Other colors will depend on what is available - seen box of pins that are white, black and red and another box that had green and another color.
Have a great week.
RS Spotlight
The Dungeness Ward Relief Society puts out a newsletter each week. Included is a spot light on a sister. I was asked to submit info and picture for this week. The info was lighted edited. Here is what I submitted:
I really don't like the spotlight, but here goes. I was born in Ft Lewis, Wa about 68.5 years ago. My father was a pilot for USAF. We moved a lot. Lived in Philippine Islands, Germany, and lots of places in the USA. I graduated high school, community college, and senior university in Florida with BS in Chemisty. I ended up joining the USAF, served for seven (7) years. I spent a year remote assignment in Turkey. Enlisted in Oakland Ca, got out in Sunnyvale, Ca. Went to University of Arizona and earned a BS in Pharmacy. Returned to California to practice pharmacy mostly in retail pharmacy settings for almost 30 years. Six years ago was my last day working as a pharmacist. Five years ago I officially retired as a pharmacist. I read Twilight after hearing some sisters talking about it at a RS evening meeting in January 2010. I threw caution to the wind and came to Stephenie Meyer Days in Forks in 2013. Fell in love with the area and decided I'd move here when it got to that point. A year ago, it got to that point. September 2017 I came up a week early for Forever Twilight in Forks to decided exactly where. Sequim felt the best of the choices.
My parents and brother are all dead. I have two nephews and two nieces, none of them close. I joined the LDS church in New Jersey shortly before being reassigned to Turkey for my year remote. My church activity has not been a smooth road.
My hobbies are usually done in spurts - reading and photography being the main ones now. I like to walk/hike and enjoy street fairs. I regularly attend and sometimes work at science fiction conventions, Scottish Highland Games, Renaissance Festivals, and Forever Twilight in Forks. If interested I have a blog: Abby Weyr Poems and Writings, awpaw.blogspot.com. I also have a SmugMug account under Pam Rice, pamrice.smugmug.com.
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Thank you Estella Navas-Algarin for the picture that was used.
I would add there are two books that very literally changed my life: the Book of Mormon and Twilight. Both are mentioned above. And the anniversaries of last day as pharmacist and official retirement are both in April.
It is a possible interesting note that I enlisted and got out of USAF in California. I was born in Washington and moved here recently and will likely die here. Tacoma and Sequim are not as close together as Oakland and Sunnyvale, but it did strike me as a interesting when writing this up. Full circles of life.
My reading is mostly science fiction, mysteries, some romance, some historical fiction, and lots of Twilight fan fiction. I also enjoy music - Celtic, Classical, Show sound tracks, light jazz, music from 50's and 60's.
I really don't like the spotlight, but here goes. I was born in Ft Lewis, Wa about 68.5 years ago. My father was a pilot for USAF. We moved a lot. Lived in Philippine Islands, Germany, and lots of places in the USA. I graduated high school, community college, and senior university in Florida with BS in Chemisty. I ended up joining the USAF, served for seven (7) years. I spent a year remote assignment in Turkey. Enlisted in Oakland Ca, got out in Sunnyvale, Ca. Went to University of Arizona and earned a BS in Pharmacy. Returned to California to practice pharmacy mostly in retail pharmacy settings for almost 30 years. Six years ago was my last day working as a pharmacist. Five years ago I officially retired as a pharmacist. I read Twilight after hearing some sisters talking about it at a RS evening meeting in January 2010. I threw caution to the wind and came to Stephenie Meyer Days in Forks in 2013. Fell in love with the area and decided I'd move here when it got to that point. A year ago, it got to that point. September 2017 I came up a week early for Forever Twilight in Forks to decided exactly where. Sequim felt the best of the choices.
My parents and brother are all dead. I have two nephews and two nieces, none of them close. I joined the LDS church in New Jersey shortly before being reassigned to Turkey for my year remote. My church activity has not been a smooth road.
My hobbies are usually done in spurts - reading and photography being the main ones now. I like to walk/hike and enjoy street fairs. I regularly attend and sometimes work at science fiction conventions, Scottish Highland Games, Renaissance Festivals, and Forever Twilight in Forks. If interested I have a blog: Abby Weyr Poems and Writings, awpaw.blogspot.com. I also have a SmugMug account under Pam Rice, pamrice.smugmug.com.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Thank you Estella Navas-Algarin for the picture that was used.
I would add there are two books that very literally changed my life: the Book of Mormon and Twilight. Both are mentioned above. And the anniversaries of last day as pharmacist and official retirement are both in April.
It is a possible interesting note that I enlisted and got out of USAF in California. I was born in Washington and moved here recently and will likely die here. Tacoma and Sequim are not as close together as Oakland and Sunnyvale, but it did strike me as a interesting when writing this up. Full circles of life.
My reading is mostly science fiction, mysteries, some romance, some historical fiction, and lots of Twilight fan fiction. I also enjoy music - Celtic, Classical, Show sound tracks, light jazz, music from 50's and 60's.
01 April 2018
Easter weekend and April Fool's day
Interesting weekend with General Conference, Easter, FTF announcements, and start of new month.
Church General Conference was amazing. Lots of announcement of changes. It started off with Solemn Assembly for sustaining new President of Church and successors to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles and a few other General Authorities in the Seventies Quorum. It was very spiritual sustaining them. Even sitting at home watching live stream, feel the spirit confirming their callings. Stood up when Relief Society quorum was called to sustain them.
I suggested that a friend watch from Florida. She did. It was fun texting back and forth, explaining things.
The last talk on Saturday afternoon was very moving and kept thinking that a couple of people that have suffered loss of love one.
Sunday had a rocky start as the live stream was not working from lds.org. A friend suggested mormonchannel.org. That worked. I was only an hour late. There were more announcements. The last one was Pres Nelson's last talk of the conference to announce seven (7) new Temples - significant places Philippine Islands, India, and Russia.
I can remember long ago thinking that I'll never get my religious service via TV, just no feelings come through that way. LDS Church General Conference is way different. The Holy Spirit does come through and definitely felt.
Saturday FTF announced finding the original Twilight Forks map and artist and book. Soon to be available. They are redoing the map to current places. They also teased a big announcement for Sunday. Turns out Twilight director, Catherine Hardwicke, will be a guest at FTF 2018. This was not an April Fool's joke.
Today is start of new month. Things have settled down in new life here, so decided time to get back onto healthier living. I bought a fancy new scale. Measurements are not as bad as thought they would be with my recent addiction to chocolate covered almonds. This past week I actually cooked some meals, trying to eat better. Now to add more movement. I can loose 24 pounds in 5 months. It will require work and sacrifice some food choices.
Church General Conference was amazing. Lots of announcement of changes. It started off with Solemn Assembly for sustaining new President of Church and successors to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles and a few other General Authorities in the Seventies Quorum. It was very spiritual sustaining them. Even sitting at home watching live stream, feel the spirit confirming their callings. Stood up when Relief Society quorum was called to sustain them.
I suggested that a friend watch from Florida. She did. It was fun texting back and forth, explaining things.
The last talk on Saturday afternoon was very moving and kept thinking that a couple of people that have suffered loss of love one.
Sunday had a rocky start as the live stream was not working from lds.org. A friend suggested mormonchannel.org. That worked. I was only an hour late. There were more announcements. The last one was Pres Nelson's last talk of the conference to announce seven (7) new Temples - significant places Philippine Islands, India, and Russia.
I can remember long ago thinking that I'll never get my religious service via TV, just no feelings come through that way. LDS Church General Conference is way different. The Holy Spirit does come through and definitely felt.
Saturday FTF announced finding the original Twilight Forks map and artist and book. Soon to be available. They are redoing the map to current places. They also teased a big announcement for Sunday. Turns out Twilight director, Catherine Hardwicke, will be a guest at FTF 2018. This was not an April Fool's joke.
Today is start of new month. Things have settled down in new life here, so decided time to get back onto healthier living. I bought a fancy new scale. Measurements are not as bad as thought they would be with my recent addiction to chocolate covered almonds. This past week I actually cooked some meals, trying to eat better. Now to add more movement. I can loose 24 pounds in 5 months. It will require work and sacrifice some food choices.
OPA 26 March to 1 April, sign contract
The contract for building manufactured home was signed on Tuesday. Have not yet heard from them as to possible delivery date. Recent homes have a July date. There are things happening in July that want to see possible delivery date before commit to those activities. I could still participate, but in a limited manner.
Finally figured out the problem with the wifi bridge, not compatible with Windows 7. Got a long cable to connect the photo computer. Now to transfer pictures to SmugMug. Looking forward to sharing pictures soon.
Short week on the OPA front.
Have a great week.
Finally figured out the problem with the wifi bridge, not compatible with Windows 7. Got a long cable to connect the photo computer. Now to transfer pictures to SmugMug. Looking forward to sharing pictures soon.
Short week on the OPA front.
Have a great week.
Why hating the Twilight movie was the best thing for me
It was announced today that the director of Twilight, Cahterine Hardwicke, would be a guest at Forever Twilight in Forks festival this year. On one thread someone commented that they didn't like the movie and why. I added my two cent and later mentioned if have a chance to talk with her and don't freeze up I would likely tell her so. I was called to task for wanting to do that. I responded, but that was all on my phone and I don't do long comments from my phone. So here is my full answer.
Two things to know up front. I was really deeply depressed before Twilight and I've always been more interested in the behind camera stuff of movie making.
I read Twilight January 2010, between release of New Moon and Eclipse. Twilight was available on DVD. After reading all four books, I had to try the movies. Bought Twilight. Watched it. Hated it. So many things wrong with it. So blue. Talked to a much younger friend about it. Tried a second time, still not working for me. Finally decided to try watching with the commentary track. Oh my gosh. Such a difference.
With the director on the track explaining decisions made I better understood why it was done that way. Still doesn't really work for me personally, but at least understood. There are still some things that are just wrong - truck window left down?
Also watched the extra material, again with the director making comments about why left out, why changed, etc helped understand the movie better.
Listening to that commentary track peaked my interest in the behind camera side of movie making. Remember I was depressed and not interested in much of anything. I have since watched and listened to all the DVD movies I have with a commentary track at least once. Best are with the directors.
So if given the chance I will thank Ms Hardwicke for making a movie I initially hated and for doing the commentary track on the DVD. All part of Twilight bringing me out of my depression.
Two things to know up front. I was really deeply depressed before Twilight and I've always been more interested in the behind camera stuff of movie making.
I read Twilight January 2010, between release of New Moon and Eclipse. Twilight was available on DVD. After reading all four books, I had to try the movies. Bought Twilight. Watched it. Hated it. So many things wrong with it. So blue. Talked to a much younger friend about it. Tried a second time, still not working for me. Finally decided to try watching with the commentary track. Oh my gosh. Such a difference.
With the director on the track explaining decisions made I better understood why it was done that way. Still doesn't really work for me personally, but at least understood. There are still some things that are just wrong - truck window left down?
Also watched the extra material, again with the director making comments about why left out, why changed, etc helped understand the movie better.
Listening to that commentary track peaked my interest in the behind camera side of movie making. Remember I was depressed and not interested in much of anything. I have since watched and listened to all the DVD movies I have with a commentary track at least once. Best are with the directors.
So if given the chance I will thank Ms Hardwicke for making a movie I initially hated and for doing the commentary track on the DVD. All part of Twilight bringing me out of my depression.
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